So i'm letting mom write this one today - i think she deserves it... woof woof
Picking up the pieces...
So this weekend I finished my second 13.1 mile half marathon. This time in cold brisk morning air of Tulsa, OK (I know, awesome location, huh?)
I go through phases as I run. Sometimes I sit back and reflect on what is going on in my life, currently and in the past and future, and sometimes I sit back and take in the scenario (whenever i'm not begging myself not to stop running and give up!) Lately the clarity of life is not there. I don't understand what is going on and I struggle to accept the things that I can't change. I'm happy yet I'm lost and alone. I know what I want, I just can't have it. This can make reflecting as painful as a blister on mile 12, so I thought more about happier things. Thought of things that I would like to accomplish in life, or even things that I would just like to do. The obvious being to run the 1/2 in a more respectable time, something under 2:15 at some point. Others like maybe I should try a full sometime, just to say I've tried it - and think how much short 13 will look after 26! Then there are things like I would love to dog sled, or see the start of the Iditarod race. I would love to go on a vacation to a cabin in Tahoe or Colorado and enjoy skiing, walking around in the snow, the fire place, the hot chocolate, the time with friends... I'm sure during the course of the race that many other thoughts came up, but they were lost on the road.
I guess the point of the post for me is accepting as we go. I use running as a means to clear my head, enlighten myself, and get my mind of the things that trouble and upset me. I need to learn that everything will work out. If I just keep "running" I will make it to the end - walking, slowing down, sprinting, hills - all combined together will make the race.
In the end, I set a PR of 2:27:05 - not great in running standards, but 15 minutes faster then my original attempt last April - definetly something to be proud of, for now!
